Monday, December 17, 2012

Stranger in the Night

                                                                   Part III

She served them dinner. Rini's drawing books were all scattered on the table..she started picking them - Amit was in earlier than her today -- had been complaining "you should start taking the car....being out in the rains, being adventurous in new city wont get you any story"

She smiled at him..."good you could come in early today.Rini's new school seems a task master..she'll need more attention"

He tried not to get distracted by her smell....the fragrance of her in the freshly startched saree....the whole day's tiredness melted away somewhere at the sight of her....but today he saw creases at her brows....her face was porcelain.....as he always felt...a single frown couldnt be missed........maybe the new city running around or the city she had run away from once.....he tried to not remark....

"The news room otherwise was quiet the whole day ...our next sponsorship deals looks like almost finalised"

She nodded and started clearing away the empty dishes...

Suddenly the Evening news on the TVstarted flashing Breaking news...

"Director Shekhar Ray in a car crash --today evening at 9 on the isolated street in south of ....."

Amit's phone buzzed...he looked from the screen to her...and cut the call....

"Shekhar was alone when the accident happened. "

She lifted her eyes and looked at the TV..but her hands went on with the work..

"Rini, finish your dal..."

Reporter shrieked almost....

"The star was at the driver's seat .. the car's wreckage......."

She looked at Amit....

"you need rice...."

He looked at her....she was calm.....composed.....the devastating beauty of hers masked any expression...."maybe.......it didnt matter..." he thought.

"Let me message the news room....they will keep me posted..."

She was helping Rini eat the last morsels...the TV went on unwatched...

Reporter had now shifted outside the hospital -- a small group of onlookers tried peeping into the cameras....it was still drizzling there...

"As per latest update here Shekhar Ray is in the emergency right now...his family members are all here...also the outpouring of Industry friends have been increasing steadily..........Police is trying to find if he was under alcoholic influence....."

"Shekhar Ray never drinks ."

And she switched off the TV.....turned and took the empty plate and walked away to the kitchen...

Amit looked at her walking away --- the rain lashed on the glass door.....he looked out -- wild thundering.....

He said softly, "Looks like a long night ahead of storms and rains....."

 

Sunday, December 16, 2012

Stranger in the Night

                                                              Part 2

"Shekhar ??? "

She exclaimed......the night,the place,the wreckage scene that lied in front, the rains, the thunders - all swept away in that moment....

He loosened the grip on her wrist....she could see the blood trickling down slowly his forehead....

She only managed to say -- "You are bleeding.....I....I......let me get someone..."

She turned to walk away to get help....and heard the voice of her demons...the voice that defined her existence....

"Will you come back for me this time......."

She paused...and turned to look at him...

Drenched in the rain, her saree clinging to her svelte frame...water dripping her loose tresses...a sudden lightning lit her face.....in his pain, in the darkness creeping down his eyes....in the chaos of the throbbing pain in his head -- he saw it all....and those large eyes of her....tears or rain water rolling down them......and he before it all went dark.....he knew....she will never return back..........

She walked away......

He had remembered later ambulance sirens,men shouting to each other....carrying him....but he knew she never came back......her touch,her presence he would have felt even in the dungeons of darkness....

 

Saturday, December 8, 2012

Fireflies

Evening fireflies danced around me
I sat there by the river,counting the pebbles
The breeze caressing my reflective whims
I caught the setting sun wispering to the dancing ripples

 Evening fireflies danced on the waters
I sat there by the river,counting the pebbles
He came from behind calling..."come home with me"
I caught the rising moon whispering to the dancing ripples

Evening fireflies danced at his feet
I sat there by the river,counting the pebbles
I took his hand...looked back at the waters..his reflection danced on the ripples
His voice broke..."come home with me"

Evening fireflies danced around us
I threw the pebbles...broke the ripples...his reflection into pieces
And then finally I caught the sparkling moon whispering to the crying ripples...
"Mirage",he whispered...and then he merged...with the night of fireflies

Friday, December 7, 2012

Darkness -- Crawling Back !!!

Its when the silence becomes the walls and noise keeps crashing at the corners....when the sunrays streaming in from the vents ,couldnt tear through the darkness of the room.....when the peeling paint of the walls reveal the scratches beneath....its when the chirping birds outside the window sill seem muted...........its when through the narrow cracks of the door , you can see the world outside - its everything that is the Life outside but that darkness still feels the soothing skin,those noises feel like the friends for life to hang onto, the scratches seem like the tempest in the soul within -- the cracks are the ways to step outside --- but the Futility of all -- that room becomes your place --- darkness is your companion -- the birds are the intruders of your space -- luring you to chirp with them -- but you want to hold onto the peeling flakes of the wall paint.....its when you love what you wanna love coz that makes you -- maybe thats your own mirror -- the world outside is for the rest .

Suddenly homless, dear Blog I come back to you -- but this will be remain the space for Darkness -- for the crawling sunshine through the vents, we shall find some other world, some other time......

Wednesday, October 31, 2012

"मैं सदा संसार से लड़ता रहा हूँ , बस यही है हार मुझको , जीत मुझको .

कौन कहता है की आधी रात को मैं बैठ शब्दों के तुकों को जोड़ता हूँ ,
भावना के भेद को जो है दबाये ; सत्य में , उन पत्थरों को तोड़ता हूँ
आग निकले या की जल की धार निकले, राग मधुमय या करुण चीत्कार निकले ,
...
चीरकर जो संग की छाती निकलती है विकलता , बस वही संगीत मुझको .

मैं सदा संसार से लड़ता रहा हूँ , बस यही है हार मुझको , जीत मुझको ." ~ HRB

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Stranger in the night

                                                      Part I

She was cold...she was wet....she stood still under the street lights...its been one hour she had been waiting to get a rick to get home...the cell battery had run out...
 
The darkness of the streets crawled under her skin....she shivered...she knew she should have asked her Boss to drop her home...but the "new city" still had not taken away the "hesitation"...she thought she could manage her way back...
 
She started walking...down the lane...it was getting late...suddenly there was a flash of light...a thunder somewhere...she blinked....screeching tyres...and suddenly everything was silent...she opened her eyes..there was smoke...though the rain lashed around...she could hear her loud heartbeats thudding in her ears...
 
She saw the car that crashed to the light pole ahead...the engine sound still hummed in the stormy night....she slowly walked around to the driver's side....the wipers moved rapidly on the windshield...in the darkness she couldnt see anything inside...she tried opening the door...it didnt budge...
 
She tucked few of the loose strands of her wet hair behind....and looked around...the lane was silent...the lone watchmen  at the nearby building was nowhere to seen in the rains....she thought to leave...to call 911 from a nearby pay phone...if available....but then turned back on a second thought...one last try...and she tugged with her might at the door handle....strangely it opened....
a dark form...a man......his head on the steering....a scream rose in her dry throat....was he dead....
 
Slowly she raised her hand and tried to shake him...he didnt move....she couldnt make out his face in the dark...she could only see he was alone in the car...."hello...can you hear me..."....she finally voiced her thudding heartbeats....."are you all right? " "hello....can you hear me....".
 
Unsure...totally drenched...she stepped back a little...maybe she can walk little ahead..and get some one around the corner of the next street...she had just turned...when suddenly a hand grabbed her wrist....with a start she turned back...he stirred....his head was still down....but he had reached out...and held her wrist....a cold sensation....he was cold...more than her...a shiver went down her spines.....and then a deep voice....."can you please wait...".....and he lifted his head slowly.....
 
Lightning flashed....it thundered hard....the rain lashed the world around....

Exploration

"Rebel"...and thats how I define "me"...how my surroundings define the nature of "me"..."me" is a mirror of changing seasons...that sees the world when is was candy-floss, when it sparkled in the bubbles...."me" then saw the summers where frienships were etched,when sun shone on the green meadows of life...."me" saw the rebel in the season when it was chained down with physical blows...when the world seemed deceptive and those whirlpools of temptation were strong....I saw the rebel drive the "me" to the hearts of passion....that ignited the winters of love that grew to be a blackhole...where you can only fall deep....deeper....deepest....never to resurrect back....."Me" could then still be blown by the thunders of a new world and hail storms of new dreams....thats why the world still rotates every moment...revolves with each breath...cause I explore, I fall, I rise, I "rebel"...but the "I" may pause...I may tire....the "me"...never ceases...its always randomness....searching its own reflections....unknown....un-explored.


"The World is indeed a mixture of truth and make-believe.Discard the make-believe and take the truth."
                                              Ramakrishna

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

In the skies....

Mind mirrors a vast universe...randomness of thoughts,plans,actions,decisions...it's an epicentre of function...that controls our dynamics...

And when I try to analyse mine...I find randomness...mostly chaos...abstractness in its interpretation....but always in motion..there are days when I find answers that it works even when I sleep...and then there are days when I find a symphony to my thoughts....there are days it's just "static noise" and it screams back at me..the body tires,but never the mind...and there are days when I have silent conversations with it...to understand its "behaviour".

It wants to do scores of things in a day...sometimes the laziness of the mortal body doesn't synchronise to the wants of the mind...some days the laws of nature...rules of the universe...and the "time" in a 24 hrs day doesn't support it's whims...but every day it tells me one thing repeatedly..."touch me...try capture me....I am vast...I am rapid...I lie beyond the skies...I fly in the skies....hold me..." and then I tell myself...fine,today I will start putting some words to you "my mind"....but everyday I fail....

And then suddenly I wake up...I am 27....the world around me is changing....it's nothing what I desired...but then again somewhere its everything which is "ideal"....I never made goals...I never thought ahead....but always took it as it came...it shook me always...but then I always swam with the tides...somewhere,someone "in the skies" have always been looking over...always held me whenever I fell...and mind you,I have had some mighty falls....but still my world seems all right...if I see from outside....but then today when I step in this new pages of my life...I realise He who looks over has finally decided me to "streamline" my life ahead...

There can be death in the next bend, unchartered waters to rock the boat in next curve, storms to wipe away all the "abstractness" that the mind conjures....so somewhere it's time for me to "voice" some of these randomness to start with...

Let me see what is there to touch "in the skies" when I put words to them in a routine....I do not like "set" nature of ways of life...bores me...the "unknown" excites me....so can't say this Blog will follow a set theme or nature...but it will certainly follow the "motion in abstractness" that my mind loves playing music to....so tomorrow when I disappear in the oblivion...these words might give me some form....though I know I am as vast as the universe beyond...so words can't define...but it certainly can find some shades of grey and some more shades of the rainbow...that makes my "thoughts" to stage the daily opera !!!